How the Elf Helps Tweens Play

"You are a Saint!"

My husband smiled at me as he left for work. I was slaving away hot gluing suspended stars onto a cardboard box for tonight Elf escapades. I even forsake my coffee to get this deed done in the hopes of an earlier and stress-free night, unlike last night when I was running around at the last minute trying to figure out what to do with Frosty (our Elf). He ended up in the fridge drinking maple syrup.

My daughter is 10-year-old and begged us for an Elf for 9 of those years. We finally broke down last year - and by "we", I mean "me" because while my husband is amazing, he's not into creating Elf-scapades. My daughter's love and belief in Santa is still going strong, and I wanted to keep that magic going for her as long as possible. So, that meant that Frosty the Elf joined our family, and I spend the month of December with a bit later nights and tapping into my dusty creativity.

But why would I make such a sacrifice? It's important to me that my kids maintain that sense of awe and imagination in their lives. It's a form of play that I'm not eager for them to give up. My 13-year-old son came to us a few years ago and let us know that he'd figured it all out. But, instead of letting him disappear into smirking at his sister for her continuing beliefs, we roped him into the magic as an accomplice. He actively will help move the Elf, fill stocking, and even step in for the tooth fairy when I need an earlier night.

Keep the magic of the holidays in our tween's life can actually benefit their development. It's a form of creative play the benefits them in many aspects of their lives. As our kids get older and start moving into middle school, opportunities to play (at least in a more traditional sense) decrease. And these days our kids are maturing even faster, leaving the childhood fantasies behind in preference to more "grown up" activities. And yet, we're seeing a decrease in the social-emotional wellness of these kids, as well as their physical development.

When we encourage creative play in our teens, we're directly affecting their Intellectual Development. Creative thinking that is used to help them find the Elf or even imagining the antics that they are getting up to can build executive function skills, creative thinking, vocabulary development, and memory. Asking our older teens to help with the fun also works to develop these skills as they decide the adventures that the Elf has and also how to keep the fantasy alive.

Another area that is strengthened through creative play is Emotional Development. We can especially see the connection of an older t(w)een who is participating in keeping Santa alive for their younger siblings. Being able to connect to their excitement and wonder is an excellent way to build empathy, especially for situation when their beliefs differ from those around them. What an amazing life skill to bring along as they move through adulthood! Play in this way can also help older teens develop a sense of purpose, shape their social & moral values, and lets them practice interacting with different people. And older child might need to defend their reasoning to protect a sibling from finding out the truth about Santa to a friend who isn't in that situation.

The final benefit of the play that stems from our beloved Elf is a bit of Physical Development. This might be a stretch, but hear me out. Today I watched my daughter climb, crawl, squat, and jump all while looking for Frosty. Since he wasn't just sitting out for her to find, the search allowed for a variety of movement. And while this small bit of physical activity may not seem like much, compare it to the child who sees the Elf and goes directly to the coach to watch TV or play video games. Right now our tweens need all of the activity that they can get, even if it is just a few moves to reach, stoop, twist, and hop in an effort to find a stuffed doll.

I don't know how many years we have left for my daughter and her belief in Santa. She's already started asking some probing questions this year, and I'm doing my best to deflect them. If she asks point-blank, we'll be honest with her, but until them I'm keeping the magic alive. When that day comes, I'm tempted to keep Frosty active. My parents always told me that as long as I believed in Santa, he would keep coming, and I want to pass that on to the kids. But, I think I'll bring them in on the magic and we can all take turns deciding what adventure Frosty will embark on. That way we keep the magic and the play, and all of the benefits that come with it.

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